20 Things I Wish I Knew In My 20s
So I turned 30, well last year, and even if you don’t want to, you sit and look back at a decade full of adventures and mistakes and keep reliving your early 20s, mid 20s and the late 20s in your head. I’m so glad your Facebooks, Instagrams and YouTubes evolved much later, just because there aren’t many pics floating with me getting it absolutely wrong. Don’t get me wrong, my twenties were awesome. However, I feel one of the things a mature (yea right!!) 30 year old needs to do is share some very wise wisdom !!! Actually this is just another reminder for me not to repeat it all over again.
1.Wear a Mascara
Believe it or not, I used to think that mascaras are just for special occasions. So most of the time I just looked like I never had any lashes at all. And I have learned that the Mascare defines the eye makeup. A straight/Tapered wand mascara by any good brand should do the trick. Please go for your darkenings, curlings, colourings ,lengthenings and thickenings if you are looking for a specific effect. Remember to save the waterproof ones for when you really need it. Waterproof mascaras are too tough for everyday use and also pose a chance for breaking your lashes when you try to take them off. Use an eyelash curler if you have to but make sure you’re not pulling the eyelids at all. Condition your lashes by applying a thin layer of Vaseline. And don’t forget about the lower lashes!!
2.Get the right Foundation
Do not…I repeat DO NOT buy foundation shades because they were on offer or they were cheaper. Go to the shop that actually sells them than buying them online without testing. When in store use the samples to find your actual shade. I used to go through different brands of foundation on a monthly basis and my skin was a victim to all of this. Until I decided that I’ve had enough and went to my nearest Bobbi Brown counter for the right one. And we couldn’t be more happier J !! Try swatch it on the back of your arm area as this might be the closest match to the colour of your face. If like me this is not the case, start with the lighter one and work towards the darker one. Rather than just going for a darker shade.
3. Get fitted for a bra
Ok see this is how I used to buy my bras...oooh prettttty!!! I want!!! And then it’s a whole cycle of pinched flesh, unsightly bulges and backaches. A wrong bra can be a nightmare and also an eye sore. One thing to bear in mind, you might not be the same fit in every store. But get yourself fitted and get your perfect size. I got myself measured at M&S first but didn’t seem too happy with the fit and my SIL suggested Bravissimo and I have been happy ever since.
4.Take off your Makeup before Bed
Ok , so if using the wrong foundation was not bad enough I don’t think I ever removed my makeup before bed. Till I read somewhere that your skin would age 10 years by just not removing your makeup before bed. I mean it just wasn’t worth missing those important rituals. I have kept some emergency stack of Makeup remover wipes by my bed if I just can’t be asked to go through the whole cleanse and clean ritual. But yes definitely a lesson learned. Besides not a pretty sight first thing in the morning :(!
.....with colours!!!! Shame on you for thinking anything else J ! Yes black makes you look thin but it also can look really boring. I remember at my first work place I used to dress mainly in black and my wardrobe looked just so boring. So much that I just avoided some do's just because I didn’t want to look and my wardrobe and then would have to go and buy something just for the day. For my Graduation, I wore a plain boring white and black...I just can’t look at pics like that anymore!!! It’s the same with makeup I was scared to experiment with lip colours. So much that when I did decide to try a new colour on there was just way too much attention which just made me wonder is this attention good or bad!!
I once read somewhere that two thirds of women hang onto clothes that don’t fit in the hope that they will again. I was definitely in the two thirds and had to take a while to realise that the boat has sailed and has now become a small black dot in a very very far view.
Or at least try to. When my husband and I bought our house, I arrived the night before the actual moving in with 15 garbage bags full of clothes, the night before we actually moved I had couple of friends help me unpack and I know what was going through their heads “Why doesn’t she get rid of some of them?”. I filled three massive closets with just my stuff while my other half took one closet for him. Yes! I did feel bad but I just could decide what to throw and what to hold on to. I just held on to things didn’t wear or haven’t made up my mind on. Sometimes I just forgot about some clothes and they just disappear in the big hole in my closet. And as you can imagine selecting clothes for work was hectic for me and I just ended up wasting my time sorting my all sorts. When I was on maternity leave I thought to myself enough was enough and decided to have a closet cleanout. It wasn’t easy and it actually got on my other half’s nerves..but in a week’s time it was all sorted and cleared .Now I decide my weeks wardrobe in advance and everything was in its place and everything had a place.. Don’t get me wrong, I still shop for all pretty things but I do make every attempt to only buy something after I’ve decided to give away something. I have found out sites like Pinterest and apps like Stylicious, My Dressing - fashion closet and Mix me - Your virtual closet which helps you to pick your styles, find out what works for you and also remind you about certain lost treasures.
This again applies for jewellery, stationery, books, fabrics etc etc. I used Over the Door Shoe organisers for makeup and stationeries. And an Over the door Jewellery holder for all my everyday jewellery and shoe boxes for my special occasion jewellery. This costs peanuts on ebay/Amazon but it’s definitely worth it. It’s difficult to explain but since I’ve taken this approach with my things I found it easier to clear things from my head as well. Everything started getting a bit clearer, I wasn’t as forgetful as I was and I just looked forward to getting home after work. So Clutter free life leads to a clutter free mind has some truth to it J!
Remember that nobody is perfect, and nobody's home is perfect. Even the homes you see in the magazines aren't perfect. Saying that your house should be your signature so please don’t be mad if it doesn’t look as great as it looks in the magazines, please remember that it took a bunch of stylists to get it that way. So if you have an off week, or two weeks, or month, and suddenly your house is a disaster, don't panic. It's never too late to forgive yourself and try again.
8. Don’t buy things because they are cheap
I used to work in Primark for a while when I was in Uni...so you can imagine the amount of cheap, disposable clothes that I ended up buying. I used to experiment with certain styles and also buy same things in different colours. So i just had loads of crap...and then there were Sales...And then other shops moved all their shopping online which meant I didn’t even have to make an effort to get out shopping. This contributed highly to buy vast what-was-I-thinking selection that I never ever model around. I keep telling my husband the day Primark goes online I don’t think anyone would bother getting out shopping. First thing, if it’s cheap, it’s either got a rubbish finish or that fashion was definitely last season. So please don’t fall in the trap of this-will-come-back. Start with your basics and work your way up. Oh yea! If you see something pretty and it’s definitely bargain, grab it like the last cake on the counter. Personal opinion… if you have to buy one you may have to sacrifice something you already have
Ok so most of the stuff that I have here has so much to do with my shopping addiction. Some of the things that I bought were just not me and it was just lying around and then you just had to make space for more clothes so you end up chucking them away. Till I found that there’s a place where you could sell your old clothes....uh Hello Ebay!!! I ended up getting £50 for my Dr Marten boots and £500 for my brother’s car when all your big compare places gave him nothing close to it. You do get your time wasters and you do have to pay a sellers fee. But in the bigger picture you do get paid for selling things you will never use.
10. Never taking care of my hair
I have naturally thick, curly hair and over the years of styling and colouring , it’s basically lost all of its je ne sais quoi. When I was younger my mummy dearest used to make my head her experimenting playground. I had things like eggs, coconut oil, curry leaves, lemons and basically many other edibles from the kitchen going into my hair all in the name of hair care. It might be because of this recollection I never ever cared for my hair in my 20s. I basically would just straighten it all the time. Be it dry , wet , messy anything…till it just stopped looking like hair and more of strands of wool from a rag dolly’s head. And I just decided to ignore it and put a scrunchy or hair claw over it.Till I got pregnant and just didn’t think I would have enough time to take care of it post baby’s arrival. So I got rid of it, the whole lot….a very exhilarating feeling till my tiny curls begin to grow back…that part not so exhilarating. But this time with more care, my hair did grow back quick and healthier than what it was. Although my mum has this old wives tale that this was because I had a baby boy as they tend to contribute to the natural lustre of the hair…Yea..As if! Some things I learned…try a hair mask at least once a week…oil it at least twice a week…avoid the heating technology as much as you can or limit it to twice or thrice a week and always use a heat protection care.
11.Jeans are not your only casual friends.
Ok if anyone who knows me ever saw my old pics they would know that I lived in my jeans. I actually though casual = Jeans. There was a whole wardrobe of fashion that I never ever tried. Now you have your stripes , your polkadots, your bold colours, your prints, your ripped styles, your maxis, your minis, your leggings , your jeggings…the list just goes on. Create boards on pinterest so you have styles saved and stored for those days when you just lack inspiration or just don’t have the time. Mind you though.. nothing beats a classic tee and some comfy jeans and pumps.
12. Moisturise..
….like there’s no tomorrow. If your beauty routine does not contain a moisturising element, then there is a big gap in your routine. Your skin is the largest organ in the body and hence screams for attention more than any other part of your body. Especially the parts out of sight. I used to hate seeing parts of my body just drying up with the sign of the sun but this dramatically stopped when I decided to moisturise and this wasn’t like your industry strengths or your crème de la mers, this was your basic Dove Body cream, but again this is something any other body cream can take care of. As you get older, your skin gets thinner and drier and gravity works against you and your body in generally decides to laze up. Get your gloves back on and don’t let your body get the best of you.
13.Have a visit to the doctors as often as you can.
Just after I turned 26 I noticed my hair breaking off like no one’s business I tried loads of hair treatment but never ever thought about treating from the inside. I used to feel quiet tired all the time. Like I used to get tired of being tired..It only much later than I went to GPs and got myself checked and found out I was actually anaemic. But again, I would have never have found this out if I wasn’t pregnant. Know your family history, get a gynaecologist check or if you ever notice anything unusual with your body get hold of your GP immediately.
14.Get a bit of discipline in my life!
I wish I didn’t quit working out. Even I it was the occasional 20 mins. Once you cross your 20s, you need to work out twice as hard to just get on the healthy spectrum and you start to notice that the weight just doesn’t come off quite as easily as it used to.
Also, with your eating habits. The great thing about your 20s was you could just get away with abusing your body but it’s a hard price to pay for in your 30s. Find a workout that suits you and stick to it. Don’t waste money and time on fad diets that you have no intention of sticking to. One thing I try to do now is to carry my own food home and limit the eating outs to twice a week maximum.
15. I wish I had taken it slow or said NO!
In this age of Emails, Facebooks, Twitter, Instas etc slowing down has never become a more radical requirement in our lives. But when was the last time we spend 20 minutes bar technology. Somehow 24 hours is too short of a time in our lives and despite this when you get asked what were up to…you end up saying ‘Nothing much’. So we basically have quantitative hours over qualitative hours.Is our progression as a species heading in a completely wrong direction. I personally feel that we need to take our lives by its leash and decide to take control of it. If you want to travel , pack your bags and leave. If you want to have a debt free life, have a card free or a splurge free month(s) and get your finances back in track. If you are in an unhappy relationship seek help and if that doesn’t help …get out of it. Life’s too short for second and third chances .Be the change that you want to see. Being unproductive is not a bad thing, do something for yourself and stop thinking what your friends or 1000 followers would think of it…I mean come on! Even Jesus had only 12 and even then there was back stabbing and denial…and do you really want that kind of drama in your life J. You control your phone it’s not the other way round. Although I took this a bit too far and ended up being the least reliable contact in case of emergency. There are some friends and relations that I maintained in my 20s which make me cringe now. What was I thinking? Or actually , was I even thinking?
16.Go Out and do everything
As you grow older, you sometimes regret not breaking some rules and you realise much later that rules are just meant to be broken. It’s taken me a bit to realise to be bold to live your life on your terms. It’s YOUR choice!!! Sometimes you have everything sorted in paper and in head and you just find it so difficult to stay consistent within that framework…it is quiet suffocating. Break out of it if you have to. You only Live once!! OMG I JUST GOT WHAT Y.O.L.O. STANDS FOR!!!
17. Save More
I actually feel quiet hypocritical saying this…but this is one thing I would advise anyone staying still with their parents or in their 20s with no major commitments. This actually hit me when we made a decision to buy a house we no longer needed sum amounts in 2 digits , 3 digits or 4 digits. Save as much as you can. It could be for a house, for a rainy day, for your future or even for a splurge. Keep a track of those pennies and try to put aside atleast 10% of your salary. I know most of us tend to splurge on payday instead do it the other way around i.e splurge closer to your pay day as that’s money you’ve put aside. But again remember, it’s all about the Saving!!
18. Make time for the ones you love!
In my 30 years of being around with the amount of drama, ups and downs it has been an emotional roller coaster ride. But I think the saddest I ever felt was when I left home to start a life for myself especially when my brother left home as well. I missed all our baseless arguments and I was an emotional wreck closer to his wedding date. There was always a feeling that “but he’s my brother, I can always make time for him later”. But somehow this later never happened and before I knew he was out of the house, out of the country and even out of the continent. Don’t get me wrong I’m extremely proud of him and happy with everything he’s accomplished and the son, brother, husband, uncle and friend he’s turned out to be… but if I could go back I would definitely bullied him less and made some time to know him more…but saying that I think his better half is definitely the best thing that could happen to him and I happy that they have each other in their lives. Although her fashion sense he has yet to acquire.
Ever since my little bundle of joy arrived I have nothing most utmost respect for mothers. With the fear of sounding cliché…they went through so much s*** !! So a little respect goes a really long way.
My dad and I share a very weird relationship. We love each other sooo much…too much that we just avoid each other when we are too mad just in case something really wrong or bad comes out. Again in my 20s I genuinely misunderstood my family’s care and concern as something controlling…something close to suffocating. But it was nothing that could not be solved with a bit of words leading to conversations.
I’ve lost so many friends, all down to my lack of communication. I’m not the person to pick up the phone and find out how everyone’s doing. Actually if I did ring up somebody they would most probably know I either need something or I’m in some deep trouble. I’m usually the occasional message here or there kind of friend and my true friends know this and appreciate and for them I’m ever so grateful. But I do make an attempt now to get in touch more now than ever,
Needless to say my family and friends plays a very important part in making me the person that I’m today. And for that even if it is a decade late, I’m ever so grateful. But again, I wish I would have spent more meaningful time with them in my 20s rather than having countless arguments and later regrets.
19. Find yourself!
Sometimes the best way to find yourself is to lose yourself. Usually after a bad break-up or an emotional day, I have this sensation of getting my slate clean and start from scratch. With all the fear in the world knowing that I do sound like some lame self-help book…. Learn to be happy by spending some time alone with you and embrace the opportunity to know more about you. Your dreams, soul mates, ambitions and everything else will follow.
In my case, I found GOD’s will for my life and have been trying to spend my days trying to have a relationship with HIM.I was always a “church going” , “bible reading” person but I found out there is a difference in being religious and being spiritual. Now, in my life I try to ask the question “How can me and my family live our lives in such a way that brings HIM glory?” But this might not be everyone’s case, but I’ve always felt that true spirituality is something that is found deep within oneself. And it is a way of loving, accepting and relating to the world and people around you .It’s not just about you, your family, your friends, your community etc .Learn to accept the different type of people you meet your way is definitely not the only way, you are a speck of dust in this massive universe and you have no right to condemn anyone’s personal choice on how they would lead their lives.
20. YOU’RE ONLY AS OLD AS YOU FEEL
Do you see people gradually stop saying the phrase “Look how grown up you look?”… Well chances are you the next time you hear something similar would be “Look how old you’ve gotten?” After all said and done Age is just a number and I wouldnt have swapped my 20's for anything in this world.Life is good, the numbers are irrelevant and happy are those who never cared anyways. I have moved to this weird section like 30 - 35 or 28 and above in most surveys. But my opinion still matters. Life is good !
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